As a 60 Minute Coach I hear often these cries from my clients:
- Oh, I am failing to keep up with my schedule
- I am not getting results as I had before with same activities
- I need to be held more accountable
- My mind can’t keep a focus
- I am doing all my mantras, readings, and keeping my goals in front of me, but nothing is happening
Instead of tightening the reign around our horse’s necks, isn’t it time to loosen them up? What have all the new philosophies of living, working, and connecting authentically to our purpose taught us? To be more disciplined, or to be more loving and more fun, even in the midst of work?
It’s the second one, contrary to popular belief. It seems we find it so hard to let go of some good old fashioned Protestant work ethic in our modern new ways of functioning. The God of Discipline will fall last. But it will fall.
Relying on discipline is actually hiding the real problem which is more difficult to tackle and leaves one more vulnerable. The problem is our wants and needs, and our beliefs as to how we can achieve them. It is the imperative quality of self-trust and internal motivation that is lacking, not discipline. Think of a time when something really interested you, you took every possible opportunity to do it, you didn’t need to be disciplined to do it.
Why is it so rare for us to clearly know what we like, what we want, and how we want to achieve it?
Here is why:
Society, it’s accepted norms and established traditions which define us from our childhood and erase the inherent self-trust we possess, makes us believe that they and everybody else outside of ourselves are the best judge of what good for us.
Let’s deconstruct discipline.
- Its very, very predictable and people like predictability.
- It produces visible and quantifiable results, which improve over time.
- We as society love numbers and growth.
- Loving discipline is also in the Bible and the Western civilization very much relies on Christian based values.
- The disciplined ones don’t rebel and keep things status quo.
So discipline is predictable, quantifiable, supported by religion, and keeps masses manageable. Can we see now why it’s so admired by our “leaders”?
Let’s look at Wikipedia:
“Discipline is the suppression of base desires, and is usually understood to be synonymous with restraint and self-control. Self-discipline is to some extent a substitute for motivation. Discipline is when one uses reason to determine the best course of action regardless of one's desires, which may be the opposite of excited.”
Do you want to live your life suppressing your desires, or do you want to express them? Instead of investigating the reasons for our lack of motivation, are we going to use discipline as a crutch? Has relying solely on reason to make decisions brought us happiness and fulfillment? Do we want to sabotage our own expansion and growth by doing opposite of what we desire?
No more I say! Let’s start waking up to our true motivations, and birth a new way of living. My entire coaching practice is based on helping people unearth their true motivation and live authentically. And my experience is only strengthening my belief that what we need is LESS discipline and more exploration and true connection to our inner self, our internal combustion engine that moves us, motivates us, and creates magnificence. This motivation is built on self-trust and the more we learn to trust our own heart and mind, the stronger, and more satisfied we become.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Dunja Radosavljevic is a 60 Minute Coach that helps revolutionary women breakthrough and release fears, blocks, thoughts, and beliefs that pull them back in life and business.
She teaches them to embrace their true life-affirming nature and design the life experience they want.
Follow Dunja on Facebook